complicated

Good evening vaguelythis!
Today hasn't been a good day at all...from school till the end. I guess, when you want things to go right, it will just go the opposite. When it does and when you've got no one who'll be there at that instant, I feel as though my whole world just crashes. The walls just crumble...and tumble...and crash on top of you. Burying you in the deep, harsh, cold and hard rubble.

On top of that, I come home everyday in dire need for comfort but on the other hand, it seems as though I've entered a war zone. I yearn for the "comfort" where I find comfort is something or sometime that no one bothers you and you just stay in the room studying, doing whatever you want until its mealtime. (Pretty much like I's place) Honestly, I can't understand people who are not about my age group. Be it a difference of 3 years or 3 decades. I can't understand my parents, I can't understand my younger "siblings", I can't understand my grandma. There's always a clash of opinions, personal differences that we can't seem to set aside. The "I'm-in-a-bad-mood-and-you-can-see-it-on-my-face-but-you-choose-to-provoke" syndrome that always happens in this household. Surely, after years of living under one roof, shouldn't we all know his/her Off days? Its like an allergy, if there's an allergen that irritates, it comes back. I feel so.... jealous of other friends who have an older siblings to turn to for advice or mainly just to spend time. They are the closest ever family member of yours. I feel like running away, but I'm emotionally bound to this place I call my home. Physically, I just wanna get away from this madhouse, mentally I know I'm not strong enough to survive on my own.

Oh well, what's life without drama?

I hope Thursday will pull me out from this crazy state.